Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” That’s the power of distinctiveness: it’s not just about what you do—it’s about the lasting impression you leave.
Here’s the thing—you don’t need to be unique. You just need to be distinctive.
We’ve all been asked the question: “What makes you unique?” It’s one of those phrases you hear in interviews, networking events, and across social media profiles. And let’s face it—it can be downright intimidating. For many people, especially those embarking on new careers or starting something fresh, it brings a wave of insecurity: “Am I unique enough? Why would anyone pick me over someone else?”
The Trap of Uniqueness
Being unique in a world of over 8 billion people sounds pretty impossible, doesn’t it? Even within a specific field, there are likely thousands, if not millions, of professionals with similar skills, experiences, and qualifications. Trying to find one magic trait that makes you totally different from everyone else can lead to stress, imposter syndrome, and even fear of failure.
However, distinctiveness is a more achievable and realistic goal. It’s not about being the only person in the world who does something. It’s about standing out in a memorable and meaningful way. It’s about showcasing how you combine your skills, values, and experiences to offer something special in your domain.
The Power of Distinctiveness: Lessons from Top Brands
Let’s look at Nike and Apple, two of the biggest brands in the world. Are they truly unique in what they offer? Not really. There are countless companies that make sportswear, sneakers, laptops, and smartphones. But Nike and Apple are globally recognized because of how they tell their stories, the why behind their brands, and the emotional connections they build with their customers. It’s not about what they make, but the meaning they attach to their products.
As Simon Sinek said in his famous book Start With Why, “People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.” This explains why two companies offering the same product can have wildly different levels of success. It’s the deeper message behind their work that resonates with people. Similarly, as a professional, your distinctiveness isn’t rooted in having a skill no one else has—it’s in how you apply your skills, why you do what you do, and the personal touch you bring to your work.
Real People Who Stand Out
Consider well-known figures like Elon Musk and Oprah Winfrey. Musk isn’t the only tech innovator, and Oprah wasn’t the first talk show host. So why are they such iconic figures? Their distinction comes from their unique approach and personal brand.
Musk’s audacious vision for the future and fearless approach to risk-taking make him stand out in the tech world. He’s not just a CEO—he’s a dreamer who dares to build a future that seems straight out of science fiction. Oprah, on the other hand, became distinctive through her authenticity, empathy, and ability to connect deeply with people’s emotions. Her personal journey of overcoming adversity is interwoven with her work, making her story one that resonates with millions.
But distinctiveness doesn’t have to come with fame. Look at Dr. Ayana Elizabeth Johnson, a marine biologist and climate advocate. Her work in ocean conservation may not have made her a household name, but she has carved out a distinct space in her field by co-founding Urban Ocean Lab and focusing on policy solutions for coastal cities. Her clear voice on climate change has earned her respect in her niche.
Similarly, Ryan Holiday, though not as famous as Tony Robbins or other big self-help gurus, has left a significant mark on entrepreneurs and leaders. His work on Stoicism, through books like The Obstacle is the Way, has shaped the thinking of high performers across industries. His ideas aren’t new, but his fresh approach to ancient wisdom makes him distinctive in the crowded field of personal development.
How to Find Your Distinctiveness
So, how can you discover and hone your own distinctiveness? Here are some practical steps and exercises to help you get started:
1. The “Why, How, What” Framework
This framework, made famous by Simon Sinek, can help you clarify what sets you apart:
- Why: Why do you do what you do? What motivates you at a deeper level?
- How: How do you work? What methods, values, or perspectives do you bring that make your approach unique?
- What: What is the tangible product or service you offer?
Start by asking yourself these questions and writing down your answers. Most people focus too much on the “what,” but it’s the “why” and “how” that create distinctiveness.
2. Storytelling: Define Your Narrative
We all have a story, and that story shapes how we are perceived. Write down key events that have shaped your professional journey. Focus on moments of challenge and how they’ve influenced your approach to work. Crafting a personal narrative that highlights your journey can be a powerful way to stand out.
Activity: Write a one-page version of your professional story. Include what motivated you to enter your field, any defining moments that shaped your perspective, and how you bring those experiences into your current work.
3. Skills Intersect Exercise
You may have skills that seem common in isolation, but how you combine them is where distinctiveness happens. Make a list of your core skills and experiences. Then, think about how you can uniquely intersect them. For example, maybe you’re a graphic designer with a passion for data analysis—how can you combine these to offer something distinct in your work?
Activity: Create a Venn diagram with three circles. In each circle, write one of your top skills, passions, or experiences. In the center where they overlap, think about what unique value you can bring by blending these three areas.
4. Feedback from Others
Often, we are too close to our own experiences to see what makes us distinctive. Ask trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends to describe what they think makes you stand out. They may see qualities or patterns you overlook.
Activity: Reach out to 3-5 people and ask them to share what they think sets you apart. Ask them to focus on your approach, values, and impact.
5. Evolution: Embrace Growth
Remember, distinctiveness isn’t something fixed. Just like markets, industries, and people evolve, so can your personal brand. Don’t feel locked into one narrative or approach. As you grow and gain new experiences, allow your distinctiveness to adapt.
Activity: Revisit your personal narrative and “Why, How, What” framework every 6-12 months. Reflect on what has changed and how you can refine your distinctiveness based on your new insights.
Conclusion
The next time you feel the pressure to be “unique,” take a step back. Rather than chasing after an unattainable goal, focus on being distinctive. Find your “why,” tell your story, and lean into the strengths that set you apart in a real, meaningful way. Whether you’re trying to build a brand, advance in your career, or just get noticed, distinctiveness is what will make people remember you—and that’s your real superpower.
As Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” That’s the power of distinctiveness: it’s not just about what you do—it’s about the lasting impression you leave.